The Darkness, my old friend.

Oh, hello darkness, it’s you again. It’s been a while.

So what are your plans now?
Do you intend to try to burn me again?
Haven’t you learnt? Haven’t you learnt anything?
Every fight we had, I won. I won, not you.

Do you really think you can get me this time? After all this time?
Do you really think you could burn me now?
Burn me to the ground?
Haven’t you learnt? Haven’t you learnt anything?

Every time you try burning me to the ashes,
I rise.

Oh darkness, how naive of you.
You cannot burn a phoenix.
I rose and I’ll rise again, every time you burn me down.

Oh darkness, my good old friend.
After all this time, I’m pretty comfortable with you being around,
nagging, demanding I give up finally.

Oh darkness, haven’t you learnt?
I will not give up.

But if you insist, let’s play this game, again, for good old times sake.

You’ll haunt me in my sleep, sending me nightmares,
make me wake up anxious, covered in cold sweat.
You are going to put the panic back into my life.
You’ll whisper in my ear “You are not good enough. This isn’t worth it. You’re not worth it. Cry, Soya, but it doesn’t get better. You are not normal. You’ll never be. Just give up, just give up.”
You will rob me my sleep, turn me into a vampire again, into someone that functions but doesn’t live.
You will steal my smile and make me fake one.
You will make me push beloved ones back on spec.
And then, then comes your masterpiece:
You will burn me alive,
you will burn my soul and heart
so that all that’s left is numbness and emptiness.

I know every move you make, my old friend.
I know how you work and I know what you’ll do.
You’re out of surprises, my dear darkness.

You may haunt me, you may send me nightmares and bring back the anxiety, the panic into my life. You may steal my smile for a while and you may burn me alive
but what you always forget is
that you cannot burn a phoenix.

So let’s play this game, my old friend.
But just know,
you cannot win.

I will always rise from my ashes.



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Surviving the turmoil of life.

2 thoughts on “The Darkness, my old friend.”

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